Pick what you already know about her and where you are in the date. You get a ladder for each topic: the easy question, the specific one, and the one that gets a story. Thirty questions, none of them "so what do you do".
Free, no account, no limit. The whole bank is in this page, so nothing you select is sent anywhere.
Answer your own question before she has to ask you back. One question, her answer, then your version of the same answer. Three questions in a row with nothing of yours in between is the thing people mean when they say a date had no chemistry.
Knowing the question is the easy half. Saying it without rehearsing it in your head first is the half that takes reps.
Most first-date question lists fail in the same way: every question on them is a rung three question handed to someone standing on the ground. "What is your biggest regret" is a good question in the right place, and in the first ten minutes it is an ambush. So each topic here has three rungs, and the rung matters more than the question.
| Rung | What it does | When it is wrong |
|---|---|---|
| One: the opener | Easy to answer, impossible to get wrong, tells you whether the topic is hers at all | Twenty minutes in, when you have both warmed up and it reads as treading water |
| Two: the specific one | Narrows to a detail, which is where people start sounding like themselves | Before rung one has landed. A specific question about a topic she does not care about is worse than a dull one |
| Three: the story | Asks for a scene rather than an answer, and gives her something to perform | Cold. This is the rung that makes people feel interrogated if the first two were skipped |
| The question everyone asks | The same question, answerable |
|---|---|
| So what do you do? | What do you actually do all day? Not the job title, the day |
| Do you travel much? | Where was the last place you went that was not for work? |
| What kind of music do you like? | What has been on repeat this month that you are slightly embarrassed about? |
| Do you have any hobbies? | What do you do that has no point at all? |
| What do you do for fun? | What does a good Saturday look like with nothing in the diary? |
| Do you like films? | What is the one everyone loves that you cannot stand? |
The pattern in the right-hand column is always the same: it asks for one concrete thing rather than a category, and it is slightly easier to answer honestly than impressively.
You interview her. Questions with nothing of yours in between. She ends up doing all the work and reads the whole thing as an assessment. The fix is in the tool above and it is not optional: answer your own question.
You climb too fast. A story-level question in the first five minutes gets a polite, short, careful answer, and then the topic is spent. Rung one costs you nothing and tells you whether rung three is even there.
You never land the next thing. The conversation goes well, nobody says anything concrete, and it ends on "we should do this again" which means nothing. Naming a specific thing, with a day in it, is a separate skill from talking, and it is the one most people skip. Asking her out, in detail.
No. Learn the shape instead: easy question, then the specific version of it, then the one that asks for a story. Once you can hear which rung you are on, you can build the ladder live out of whatever she actually says, which is always better than anything prepared.
It will if you only ask. The rule that stops it is simple and it is not optional: answer your own question before she has to ask you back. One question, her answer, then your version of the same answer. That is a conversation. Question, answer, next question is an interview, and three of those in a row is when a date dies.
Do not climb. A short answer means the rung was too high or the topic is not hers, so go sideways to a different topic rather than pushing for more on that one. Pushing is what turns a flat answer into a flat date.
No. The whole question bank is in the page and the ladder is built by JavaScript on your device. There is no request, no logging, no cookie and no storage, and the page works with your connection turned off.